Do you notice the small cues your body gives you during the day?
For a long time, I didn't. For the sake of keeping in the flow of whatever I was doing, I'd ignore them (bio breaks, hunger, small pauses...) and over time I was feeling like a machine, completely disconnected from myself.
There's actually a name for the sense that picks up these cues: interoception. It's how we know we're hungry, thirsty, tired or cold, that we need the toilet or that our heart is beating faster. It's working all day long, but if our attention is in our thoughts, it cannot be in our bodies. And the world around us usually asks for our attention to be outside: the meeting, the deadline, the messages, the people around us, and the list goes on and on. So we keep going and leave the cues for later (and later, and later :)).
I guess that's pretty much what happened to me. The more I pushed the cues aside, the less I seemed to notice them, and the further I felt from myself. These small cues are part of how we feel connected to ourselves. Without them, it gets hard to know how we really are or what we need.
Your cycle is also made of cues
When I stopped the pill and got in touch with my cycle, I noticed we do have an inner rhythm. And many of the cues are the same small ones from every day, they just change through the cycle. For example:
hunger can increase in inner autumn, as the body may need a bit more energy in the days before your period
digestion can slow down before your period (progesterone can slow the gut) and then move a lot more on the first day of bleeding (prostaglandins, the same ones behind cramps, can also make the bowel contract)
your energy and how much you need a break can change from one inner season to the next
So if we can't notice the small signs, it's very hard to notice our inner seasons. And the dance between action and rest that the cycle shows us is vital for a balanced life.
For me, the more I honour the cues, the easier it is to honour my inner seasons, and the closer I feel to myself.
Starting by noticing
As the days get darker and we naturally turn more inward, it can be a nice moment to start. There's no need to change your whole routine. A few times a day, you can stop for a moment and check: am I hungry or thirsty? Do I need the toilet? Am I tired, or do I need to move a bit?
You won't always be able to act on it straight away (meetings don't always wait :)), and that's okay. And if feeling what's going on inside feels a bit strange at the beginning, that's normal too. Take it slowly.
It gets lighter
It doesn't happen from one day to the next, but in my experience the feeling of being disconnected slowly gets lighter. Each cue you notice brings you a little closer to yourself, and over time your inner seasons start to feel familiar too (and then you notice when you're moving into action and when you need rest).
Having a small moment each day to check in with yourself helps a lot with this. It can be a pause at lunch, a few breaths before you open your laptop, or a minute in the evening to look back at your day. A journal is one tool that can support this type of check-in.
That feeling of being a machine was with me for a long time... and the more I listen to these cues, the more I feel like myself again. I guess that's what I'd love for you too :)
My support for you...
That's why I put together a simple journal: Your Own Pattern. Each evening, you take one minute to write down your energy, your mood, your discharge and what you noticed in your body that day, including these small cues. At the end of each cycle, one of the questions is simply which cues you noticed and which ones you overrode. After three cycles, you can look back and start to see your own rhythm.
You can get it for free here.
And if you'd like to look at your pages together after a cycle or two, just send me a message :)
with love,
Tarsila.